Thursday;Decemer 24, 2009

Enjoy this Holiday for what it truly means in the spirit of sharing your good wishes with all of your friends and neighbors. Again be thankful for the blessings you receive, and let's not complain about the one's we don't get.

Wednesday;December 23, 2009

Morality and Ethics can't be legislated, it comes from within. Trying to do so only gives the Morally and Ethically challenged a place to look for loopholes.

Tuesday;December 22, 2009

Hey Hoof Boy, Roosevelt said "Speak Softly and Carry a big stick", not Scream Loud and act like a big di.., er Jerk (almost lost my head there for a moment)

Monday, December 21, 2009

When someone goes to sell you a Bill of Goods, be very wary. Don't let what you are being sold override your natural instincts to question its true value. The proof is in the pudding as they say.

Friday;December 18, 2009

Will Rogers is credited with saying "I never met a Man I didn't Like" Two thoughts come to mind:
a) I know 3 he didn't meet, that would put this to the test.
b) Oh Yes, he did say man, didn't he. Could disqualify all 3.

Thursday;December 17, 2009:

When the day goes bad,Never utter the phrase "What else can possibly go wrong" , it is just tempting the God's, and Murphy's Law"

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It is certain that the official "Equine Posterior" is enjoying playing in his sandbox, but a word of warning if he keeps crapping in it , he will soon be the owner of the worlds largest litter box, and he has no clue or incentive how to clean it.

Tuesday,December 15, 2009

Just an FYI; Don't confuse Speaking loud with speaking smart, and listen lizard boy, heap big difference between acting like a leader and being a leader (put that in your book)

Monday;December 14, 2009

What can I say, another Monday, It's a lot like being in the waiting room at the Doctor's Office. Someway, Somehow it's gonna cost you. you just have to wait and see how.

Friday;December 11, 2009

Fantasy is hoping your Dreams Come true, reality is working to make it happen. ( I only get 1/2 credit, balance goes to Floral Princess)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Some people suffer from a disease called "cabeza encima de su asno" (spanish) Bottom line- You can phrase things, and gloss over them any way you want, but it doesn't change what happened. Old Saying: "A Fish smells from the Head First"

Wednesday;December 9, 2009

Whoever came up with the phrase "Damage Control" should be drawn and quartered. It has given license to people to inflict damage and then to try and explain it away. People at the so called"Top" of the chain need to be held accountable just like the rest of us.

Tuesday;December 8, 2009

When times are good it is easy to call yourself a leader, it is when times are tough when you find out what someone is made of (btw- I'm not impressed in the least)- Ship Treads!

Monday, December 7, 2009

For those who can't resolve issues face to face it usually means they are sitting on their "decision maker."

Friday, December 4, 2009

Success is defined on many different levels in many different ways. The only Success that matters is personal and that is defined within.

Thursday;December 3, 2009

What do you get when you get a roomful of execs sitting in a room deciding the Companies fate. Why yes, of course it;'s a "Bored" Meeting. A bit of gallows humor today!

Wednesday;December 2, 2009

Murphy's Law "Whatever can go wrong will" . Buckey's Law "Not only Whatever can go wrong will", But usually at the most inconvenient or inopportune time and caused by the ineptitude of someone who will declare themselves totally blameless and leave yourself holding the proverbial bag.

Tuesday;December 1,2009

New Definition of work efficiency is the ability to successfully dodge the office hand grenades without getting your posterior laden with shrapnel.

Monday;November 30, 2009

It should be a requirement that the first day back to work after a holiday only be 4 hours long, with no meetings or reports. Obviously this is just wishful thinking on my part.

Wednesday,November 25, 2009

Some lite fare for ya: With the Thanksgiving Holiday imminent, remember to be Thankful for what you have that is important; Friends and family, and not too complain about what you don't. (Theory of the Day will be on hiatus until Monday), enjoy !

Tuesday;November 24, 2009

Effective management is accomplished by communication and human interaction, not by emails, reports and Flow charts.

Monday;November 23, 2009

Ah,Monday- If they were going to give the work week an enema, They would stick the syringe in Monday to get all of the crap moving so you could spend the rest of the week cleaning out the drain of the brain.

Friday;November 20, 2009

See with your eyes, Hear with your ears, Think with your brain, and Feel with your heart.

Thrusday, November 19, 2009

There is a fine line between dedication and stupidity. Dedication is using your skills to pursue a goal and following it to where you wish it to go. Stupidity is blindly following someone else's goals because of their position in the social strata whether you believe in it or not.

Wednesday;November 18, 2009

There is an old saying"Time is Money"- Nah-Time is time and money is money, I don't subscribe to wasting either, but Money I can replace over time (Unplanned pun), no such luck with time. Once gone, it's irretrievable.

Tuesday;November 17, 2009

There is a big difference between life and an existance. Life is being an active participant of the events of the day. An Existance is being a spectator. The former is more difficult, yet more rewarding. The latter is safer, but with no reward.

Monday, November 16, 2009

There is a difference between being "in Charge" and being a leader. A leader does so by example and instilling confidence in his/her staff through his/her knowledge and deportment throughout the day. Not by the decibel level of or the length of their speech.

Friday,November 13,2009

Having a conscience is a lot like having a fine piece of art hidden in your closet,or an exquisite sports car locked in your garage. What the hell good is it unless you take it out for the world to see every once in a while?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

When Did "Helpless Syndrome" become socially acceptable? I swear if a certain individual asks me for help one more time while uttering the phrase "Well you know I can be an idiot", I'll beat him to death with his own hoof!

Wednesday, Novmeber 11, 2009

Employees are people and should not be characterized as assets and liabilities as we do inanimate objects. All should be afforded the basic everyday considerations and dignity. Respect however is earned and is a 2 way street.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It used to be decisions were made based on taking the available information, studying it to craft an educated response to an issue, Nowadays, the process is come up with a response that on the surface seems reasonable , but has no substance, so that if the decision is wrong, someone else is held accountable for any potential fallout.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Some Monday's are like shoveling out a hog pen. Once you shovel out all of the crap, you like down and find another layer of crap. A vicious cycle indeed.

Friday, November 6, 2009

It has been said that Some of us aspire to greatness, others have it thrust upon them, me when I walk out the front door in the morning I usually step in it and spend the rest of the day trying to scrape it off my shoe.

Thursday;November 5, 2009

The only problem with taking a stand, is you spend the rest of your time defending and owning it.

Wednesday;November 4, 2009

"All Hands Meeting" So called because "Execs" running the meeting have sat on theirs so long as to turn a minor issue into a major disaster, then with a wave of said hand determine a method to "fix" the issue, usually at the employees expense.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Sometimes a day at work is like being locked in a room with a first grade class. You get asked strange and stupid questions, no one understands your answers. They pout and rant and rave if they don't get their way.They have to be told what to do and where to go. The difference,You expect it out of children...

Monday;November 2, 2009

Isn't it amazing that usually when a good idea comes out of a management meeting it is because the idea came from a subordinate but was presented in such a way that the manager could claim it as his own and take credit for it.

Friday; October 30, 2009

Perspective changes as you get older. It used to bother me when I got up in the morning and I sounded like a Rice Krispies Commercial (everything snap, crackled or popped), Now hearing those sounds proves to me I am still alive.

Thursday;October 29, 2009

Do you ever get the feeling that overnight the earth reverses the spin on its axis, since the next morning everything seems to go Ass Backwards?

Wednesday;October 28, 2009

Sometimes events in life feel like you are 100 yards down in a hole. When someone throws you a rope it is only 95 yards long. Everything you need is just out of reach.You end up still having to just claw your way back up.

Tuesday;October 27, 2009

When management makes a mistake and they try to explain it, it is called "justifying their position", but if one of us worker bees does the same thing it is called "making an excuse".

Monday:October 26, 2009

Mondays are like life's proctology exam, An initial pain in the ass to start, but you don't really know how good or bad the results will be until later.

Friday; October 23, 2009

They say Choose your friends wisely, I say its not a pickup game, don't choose anyone, cultivate friendships as you would a fabulous garden of perennial flowers, not just because you want them, but you need them year after year. (last day of Vacation, so I need to sound semi-intelligent every once in a while.)

Thursday;October 22, 2009

The pursuit of excellence is usually hampered by the acceptance of mediocrity

Wednesday;October 21, 2009

Perspective- this should be defined as the ability to look past the manure thrown in your path in order to get to the harvest of good things that reside out in the world (Your author is feeling a bit melancholy today)

Tuesday;October 20, 2009

They say the world is divided into two classes, The Haves and Have Nots. After spending too much time dealing with the supposed haves, I still haven't figured out what it is they have,but I do know I much prefer the company of the have nots. since what the latter has, by far trumps the former.

Monday;October 19, 2009

The difficulty in attaining a high level of excellence is due to how we settle for an equal level of incompetence.

Friday, October 16,2009

Brain Trust: Successful Company: The people who work out a clear, concise and attainable business plan meant to move the company forward. Unsuccessful Company:These folks come up with a plan that is not only unrealistic and unachievable, but it is written in such a way as to disguise the fact they are in over their collective heads with no concept of how to operate a business.

Thursday;October 15, 2009

How do I put this delicately: Let's put it this way, I'm not saying this person I have to deal with on a routine basis has shit for brains, but they administered his I.Q.Test by giving him an enema!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why are executive decisions in companies usually made by people who can be best described as "raisin brains"

Tuesday; October 13, 2009

After a day of dealing with certain people (some of you know of who I speak, but we can makes this general) I am firmly convinced of one of two things. a)Even God had an off day, or b)He has a wicked sense of humor. How else can you explain these people?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Some people are like Cotton Candy, On the surface they look big and completely together. Upon closer inspection you realize they have no substance, just a pile of hot air, with one touch they dissolve into nothing.

Friday; October 9, 2009

Life is a lot like driving down the highway. There are many twist and turns, uphill and downhill moments. Sometimes there is nothing in your way and you tool along unimpeded. Other times you feel like you are sitting still just spinning your wheels, and just when it feels like you get moving again some asshole rear ends you.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Sometimes you have a day go so bad that you wish your parents would have never met!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Strategy Meeting: this takes place when a boss requests his/her underling in for a conference ostensibly to discuss the best process for getting things done. In reality, this happens because “bossman” no longer has any idea of what said employee is doing on a day to day basis and if asked wants to make sure people do not realize
that he/she is clueless.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sometimes getting through a day is a lot like treading water in a test tube, you work your ass off, you can keep your head above water for a bit, but you don't really get anywhere.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Monday is like the Septic System of the work week. It starts off with having a bunch of crap shoved down the line. You just gotta' hope there is enough room in the tank so it doesn't back up all over you.

Friday, October 2, 2009

There are two types of people in the world, those that blaze their own trail, and those that couldn't find their own ass with both hands in their back pockets. I prefer the former, but keep having to deal with the latter.

Thursday. October 1, 2009

Sometimes you run across people so stupid that you swear they have to be two people, because One person just could not be that dumb! Sometime the Theory of the Day is short and sweet, and on a rare occasion fabulous (didn't think I could sneak that in there did you KB!)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I have found that there are people who spend so much time trying to cover their own ass that they never see what is going on in front of them.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Theory of the Day: September 29, 2009: Meetings are the bane of my existence. It is apparent that this is where good ideas go to die, and bad ideas are given life. Status meetings are the worst, as it is a place where Organized lies are brought up more than a bad burrito at lunch.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The first day back to work after a vacation is a lot like sour milk in the refrigerator, You know it stinks, but you gotta smell it anyway. Same with work, it stinks too, but you have to go back just the same.

September 25, 2009

This I my last day on Vacation so some light fare for Ya. - I used to describe my mind as a steel trap, but these days it is so difficult to get a good thought out of my head, I believe the trap has rusted shut (probably due to some imbibing of beverages during my "formative" years ) Anand gets credit for my use of imbibing!(the word I mean)

September 24, 2009

Now there are constant discussions regarding the afterlife. Some people believe in it, some don't, Me, I go with the W.C. Fields notion that I am only going through all of this crap one time and one time only.

September 23, 2009

I subscribe to the notion that many Upper level Managers/Executives are members of the 50/50 club, 50 per cent of the time they make No Decision, and the other 50 per cent of the time they make the wrong one!

September 22, 2009

There is an old saying "A word to the wise is sufficient", however what they left out is A paragraph or a complete book to the stupid is useless (unless smacking them in the head with it makes you feel better!)

September 21, 2009

For those who have particularly Obnoxious Neighbors (drunk, loud and fighting in the front yard) It should be perfectly acceptable to perform the following maneuver, grab said neighbor by the scruff of the neck, fold them up real,real small, then stuff them up there own ass, at this point you punt them like a football.

September 18, 2009

Ah Friday, How the connotation changes over the years. In youth it holds promises of ball games, and family get togethers. In early adulthood it is the illicit pleasures of Bar Hopping and all night parties , to our "Mature" years where it becomes never enough time to get things done at home before we have to get ready to go back to work and go through this same crap all over again.

September 17, 2009

If indeed it is true that the Good Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, then I believe there is a problem with identity theft at the big house upstairs,because it is evident to me someone is running around with the nice sedate version of my life while I got their dysfunctional family from hell series.

September 16,2009

It has come to my attention that the definition of key phrases need revision.  The First is : Executive Decision:  This should be defined as : A Decision made by the uninformed, carried out by the unappreciated, evaluated by the unsuspecting and finalized by the unaware, resulting in the unsatisfactory culminating in the unachievable.

September 15, 2009

(Pay Attention Cristina) Some days life is like a balloon. You start off nice and big, and full of fresh Air, but it only takes one little prick to deflate you for the whole day

September 14, 2009

Some people are like hemorrhoids, They are not so bad when they go away, but when they pop out, they are a real pain in the ass. Now, back to your regularly scheduled life.

September 11, 2009

I believe it has been found that in many instances when certain people Move up the Corporate Food Chain, they experience a corresponding drop in I.Q. value. We now return you to your regularly scheduled life.

September 10, 2009

When some people open their mouth to speak it creates a vacuum in their brain and they don't know what the crap they are talking about. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.